Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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