he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
