It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
