i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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