okay pat passed out under dana's car
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't notice because vodka
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize