I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
