Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
