she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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