the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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