That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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