I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
