I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
