she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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