I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
