I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's the barista slut.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
