she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
