Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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