If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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