I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize