He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
