I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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