You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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