So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
