i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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