'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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