i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
