my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize