If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
