More tranny stories later!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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