home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
