So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
