return my video game
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
