Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
