i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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