her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We need a shit load of segways right now
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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