Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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