I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize