He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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