my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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