She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
