Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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