he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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