I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
