Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
