quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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