I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
