the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
