are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize