The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have poison ivy on my dick
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.