her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
