All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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