ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize