i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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