Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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