i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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